In Distress

One, I see you
Two, I know you
Three, I fall through
Four, I love you

How fast that I have fallen
Even I cannot believe
This spell you have beguiled upon me
Enfolds me slowly in blindness

Five, all seems well
Six, turns out they're not
Seven, your feelings unravel
Eight, my thoughts burn hot

I've heard some things
That shouldn't have reached my ears
So naïve, so foolish, so driven
Born to lose on such games given

Your heart was for another
What did I have anyway, why should you bother?
As my heart fails to ponder
What to do from here on after

Diagnosed with heartache so many times
Surprised that I'm still functioning
Lost temper in myself countless
What the hell in me is wrong?

Saying I don't need one
Truth is, I really want one
Contrast isn't worth shit, I've been told
His feelings were never mine to hold

You'll move on sooner or later
Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?
Lost all hope, lost all mind
Because fuck it baby, I've got myself

-i.t

Selesai Sudah

Pergi

Aku berlari ke luar untuk mencari
Aku berlari ke dalam untuk sembunyi
Begitu pekat dipikiranku penat
Semuanya sungguh laknat

Pergi saja buang nyawanya… nyawaku
Biar sampai di ujung jalan berliku
Terus diam sampai beku
Menyudahi segala hiruk-pikuk

Mengapa harus tetap bertahan?
Jika bisa jauh dari segala cobaan
Di dunia nan jauh dalam pikiran

Atau harus aku lari?
Barangkali buangkan nyawanya… nyawaku?

-e.r.s

A love letter for myself

Good morning, dear pieces

Don't you dare shrink yourself for someone else's comfort -

Do not become small for people who refuse to grow

Take heart, young soul

Beautiful one, this world needs your light

Do not hang with people who make you justify your vibe

Black holes do not give the light back

Vibrate good energy to another's soul

Making them never forget the beauty of yours

Do not despise him for his heart and how he blinds

Instead, be thankful that you continue to burn and give yourself light

Do not get lost in your pain, 

know that one day your pain will become your cure
Gratitude is a step away to miracles 

Remember in whom you belong to, the Great Divine

Remember how it saves you from the mire and clay

So build yourself as beautiful as you want the world to be

Wrap yourself in light then give yourself away with your heart, your art, your march, your play

and for everyday you paint the war, pain the beauty

Everyone knows what you are against; show them what you are for

My darling,

be supreme in all that you do 

roam to the end of the fucking earth for your happiness

never become blinded by doubt

You can soar in even the most unusual forces of storms

I hope you realize how different the world would be without you in it 

-A.a

Life: The Great Illusionist

I am so mad at the world

For making me believe in what could

This anger does boil some bluntness

Life makes me sick of its unfairness

Maybe it's my fault for lying thin

Allowing the demons to take me in

Speaking words of feeling fine

And saying no expectations arise

My soul collides with another

Uninvited destruction takes over

Obliterating the midst of our fusing

What seems well just isn't is

This is only me saying

Not some version of me hoping

This is only a matter of opinion

Not a matter of giving and gaining

Wondering what a life I might lead

If all was great, clean; with justice

Wishful thinking; oh, it may never be

Not the way order works out for me

-i.t

S H A D E S O F B L U E

➖ i'm back with more screwed up stories to tell in weirder ways➖

I guess it has been a while

Pen hasn't been scratching paper

I guess it wasn't most divine

To be disappearing like vapor

Time enfolds in funny ways

The millions of overlapping waves

Of billion overwhelming plays

Very much eager to tell these tales

Here I write with utmost truth

Not caring about who will listen

Any stranger, any form of youth

To them my words will glisten

I may not be much to see

Only a soul with lots to tell

Grateful that I ring with anonymity

.

.

.

Because, well;

My poems are shit as hell

Yes, I may not be poetic

No, I am not that much stoic

One is getting messed up

Let's wrap it in a cup

Baby, I'm sorry if I bore you

Experience has painted fifty shades of blue

So listen if you please;

People say I'm all at ease

So read on if you may;

But if you won't, I won't dismay

-i.t