What is love?

I used to say, "love is a choice, not a feeling," but I never believed it. I used to think love was all the things poets say.

Love was big and loud and terrifying. It was the color of your eyes, and the whisper of our words. Love was butterflies and heart murmurs. Love was heartbreaks and tears from wanting to be with you. Love was kissing in the rain and guitar music in coffee shops and adventures and Polaroid pictures and quotes. Love was thunderstorms and rainbows. Love was screaming and fighting and falling together. Love was your hands on my shoulders, and my fingers intertwined with your shirts. Love was falling asleep on your shoulder and falling to bed with my flannel because it smelled like you. Love was trying desperately to hold you and keep you. Love was pushing you away to keep from hurting you. Love was every feeling heightened because of you. Love was cliche.

And now I know better.

Love isn't a feeling. Everything I described above is feeling. Infatuation, happiness, lust, jealousy, loneliness... Love isn't any of those things.

Love is letting go. Love is looking at someone who has hurt you over and over again and forgiving them. Love is humbling yourself, and falling before someone and saying, "I was wrong... So, so wrong." Love isn't the person who makes you laugh, or the person who listens to you, or the person who makes you like yourself more. Love is facing another person day in and day out, and choosing to show them Jesus. Love is more than my worries that I have talked myself into you, or that I will talk myself out of you. Love is more than on again and off again feelings for you. Because feelings do fade. But true love doesn't.

Love is weeping before The Lord and telling Him I cannot love you the right way. Love is watching you walk away, because I know that God's timing is perfect. Love is giving up everything I ever wanted and praying somehow God can bring back the joy to our hearts.

Love isn't a choice. It's an infinite number of choices.

Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love does not boast.
Love isn't self-seeking.
Love isn't proud.
Love does not delight in evil.
Love rejoices in the truth.
Love hopes.
Love trusts.
Love perseveres.
And this love, true love, never fails


-e.r.s

1/2

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-i.t

[ happy new year! xo ]